Said the Scotsman: "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there is a little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you."
"Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhhhh, that is nothing", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin we have Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they will buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you have had all you want, they will take you upstairs and see that you get laid, and it is all on the house."
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorned the Irishman's claims. But he swore that every word was true.
"Well tell me," said the Englishman: "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not myself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to my sister."